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How to Write an Obituary: A Step-by-Step Guide with Examples

by RestInLight Team

What Is an Obituary?

An obituary is a written notice that announces someone's passing and celebrates their life. It serves multiple purposes: informing the community of a death, sharing funeral or memorial service details, and preserving a record of who that person was and what mattered to them.

Unlike a simple death notice — which typically contains only the name, date of death, and funeral arrangements — an obituary tells a story. It captures the essence of a life lived: the relationships that shaped someone, the accomplishments they were proud of, the passions that drove them, and the legacy they leave behind.

Writing an obituary is both a practical task and a deeply personal one. You're communicating essential information while also honoring someone's memory. That combination can feel daunting, but with the right approach, it becomes an act of love rather than an obligation.

Obituary vs. Eulogy: Understanding the Difference

People often confuse obituaries and eulogies, but they serve different purposes.

An obituary is a written announcement, typically published in a newspaper or online. It follows a somewhat structured format and is meant to inform a broad audience — including people who may not have known the deceased personally. Obituaries are factual at their core, though they often include personal touches.

A eulogy is a speech delivered at a funeral or memorial service. It's more personal, narrative-driven, and emotionally expressive. Eulogies are written for people who already know the deceased and are gathered to grieve and remember together.

Here's a quick comparison:

You may need to write both, and that's okay. The research you do for one will help with the other.

Key Components of an Obituary

Most obituaries include the following elements. Not every obituary uses all of them, and the order can vary, but these are the building blocks you can use as an obituary template:

Full Name and Nicknames

Start with the person's full legal name, including their maiden name if applicable. If they went by a nickname, include it in quotation marks.

Age and Date of Death

State how old the person was and when they passed away. You may also include where they died, though this is optional.

Place of Birth and Hometown

Where were they born? Where did they grow up? Where did they call home?

Family Information

List surviving family members (spouse, children, grandchildren, siblings, parents) and those who preceded them in death. This section matters deeply to families, so take care to be accurate and inclusive.

Education and Career

Mention schools attended, degrees earned, and professional accomplishments. Focus on what was meaningful to them, not just impressive on paper.

Military Service

If the person served in the armed forces, include their branch, rank, years of service, and any honors received.

Hobbies, Passions, and Personality

This is where the obituary comes alive. What did they love doing? Were they known for their garden, their cooking, their terrible puns? These details make the obituary feel like a real person, not a list of facts.

Community and Religious Involvement

Mention memberships, volunteer work, church or temple involvement, or any organizations they cared about.

Funeral and Memorial Service Details

Include the date, time, and location of the service. If the family prefers donations in lieu of flowers, note the organization and how to contribute.

A Personal Touch

A favorite quote, a line that captures their philosophy, or a brief anecdote can give the obituary warmth and personality.

Step-by-Step Guide to Writing an Obituary

If you're wondering how to write an obituary, this section walks you through the process from start to finish.

Step 1: Gather Information

Before you write a single word, collect the facts. You'll want:

Talk to family members. Check old documents, photo albums, or social media profiles. The more information you have, the easier the writing will be.

Step 2: Decide on Length and Tone

Consider where the obituary will be published. Newspapers often charge by the word or line, so a printed obituary may need to be concise. An online obituary can be longer and more detailed.

Think about what the person would have wanted. Some people would appreciate a formal, dignified obituary. Others would want humor, warmth, or even irreverence. Let their personality guide your tone.

Step 3: Write the Opening

The opening sentence establishes the essentials. A traditional opening might read:

"Margaret Ellen Foster, age 82, of Portland, Oregon, passed away peacefully on March 10, 2026, surrounded by her family."

A more personal opening might read:

"The world lost one of its kindest souls on March 10, 2026, when Margaret Foster — beloved mother, tireless volunteer, and legendary pie baker — passed away at the age of 82."

Both approaches are valid. Choose what feels right.

Step 4: Tell Their Story

After the opening, move into the narrative portion. This doesn't need to be a chronological biography. Instead, focus on the themes that defined their life:

Write in complete sentences. Use specific details rather than vague generalities. "He coached Little League for 15 years" paints a clearer picture than "He loved sports."

Step 5: List Family Members

This section is important and sensitive. Follow these guidelines:

Step 6: Include Service Details

Provide practical information clearly:

Step 7: End with Intention

The closing line is your last chance to leave an impression. Some options:

Step 8: Review and Edit

Read the obituary aloud. Does it flow naturally? Does it sound like the person you're writing about? Check for:

Ask at least one other family member to review it before publishing.

Three Obituary Examples

The following obituary examples use fictional individuals to illustrate different lengths and approaches. Use them as a starting point or an obituary template for your own writing.

Short Obituary Example (~100 words)

James Robert Whitfield, 74, of Denver, Colorado, passed away on March 8, 2026. Born on June 15, 1951, in Topeka, Kansas, James was a retired electrician and proud U.S. Army veteran. He loved fishing, woodworking, and cheering on the Broncos. He is survived by his wife of 48 years, Linda; his children, Michael (Sarah) and Karen (David); and five grandchildren. He was preceded in death by his parents and his brother, Thomas. A graveside service will be held March 12 at Evergreen Memorial Park. In lieu of flowers, donations may be made to the Wounded Warrior Project.

Medium Obituary Example (~200 words)

Dorothy Mae Chen, age 68, of San Antonio, Texas, passed away peacefully at home on March 5, 2026, after a courageous battle with cancer.

Born on November 22, 1957, in Sacramento, California, Dorothy graduated from UC Davis with a degree in nursing. She dedicated over 35 years to pediatric nursing at Methodist Children's Hospital, where colleagues knew her as the nurse who always had stickers and kind words for her young patients.

Dorothy was a devoted member of Grace Community Church, where she sang in the choir and organized the annual holiday food drive for more than two decades. She was an avid reader, a talented quilter, and a passionate advocate for childhood literacy.

She is survived by her husband, Dr. William Chen; her daughters, Lisa Chen-Park (Kevin) and Emily Chen; her grandchildren, Sophie and Nathan Park; and her sister, Ruth Yamamoto (George). She was preceded in death by her parents, Takeshi and Mary Yamamoto.

A celebration of life will be held on March 10, 2026, at 2:00 PM at Grace Community Church, 415 Oak Street, San Antonio. In lieu of flowers, the family requests donations to the San Antonio Public Library Foundation.

"She made every child feel brave." — Her colleagues at Methodist Children's Hospital

Long Obituary Example (~350 words)

Richard Allen Moreau, 85, of Savannah, Georgia, passed away on March 1, 2026, at home, surrounded by his wife and children.

Richard was born on April 3, 1940, in New Orleans, Louisiana, to Claude and Isabelle Moreau. He grew up in the French Quarter, where his family ran a small bakery — an experience that gave him a lifelong love of good bread and an even stronger work ethic.

After graduating from Tulane University with a degree in civil engineering, Richard served as a lieutenant in the U.S. Navy from 1962 to 1966. He often said those years taught him everything worth knowing about leadership, patience, and the importance of a good pair of shoes.

Richard spent 30 years at Moreau & Associates, the engineering firm he co-founded in 1972. Under his leadership, the firm designed bridges, schools, and public buildings across the Southeast. He retired in 2002 but never stopped sketching designs on napkins at restaurants.

Beyond his career, Richard was deeply involved in his community. He served on the Savannah City Council from 1990 to 1998, coached youth baseball for over a decade, and was a longtime member of the Rotary Club. He was also an enthusiastic, if imperfect, jazz pianist who hosted Saturday evening jam sessions in his living room for nearly 40 years.

Richard is survived by his wife of 58 years, Catherine (née Blanchard); his children, Marc Moreau (Anne), Juliette Moreau-Davis (Thomas), and Sophie Laurent (Philippe); his nine grandchildren; his sister, Marguerite Thibodaux; and his beloved golden retriever, Biscuit. He was preceded in death by his parents and his brother, Henri.

A funeral mass will be held on March 6, 2026, at 11:00 AM at the Cathedral of St. John the Baptist, 222 East Harris Street, Savannah. Visitation will take place the evening before from 5:00 to 8:00 PM at Fox & Weeks Funeral Directors.

The family requests that, in lieu of flowers, donations be made to the Savannah Music Festival or Habitat for Humanity of Coastal Georgia.

"He built things that lasted — bridges, friendships, and a family that adored him."

Common Mistakes to Avoid

1. Omitting or Misspelling Family Members' Names

This is the most painful mistake to make and the easiest to prevent. Always verify the spelling of every name with multiple family members. Forgetting someone — particularly in blended families or large families — can cause lasting hurt.

2. Being Too Vague

Phrases like "He was loved by many" or "She was a wonderful person" say very little. Replace generic statements with specific details. What specifically made them wonderful? Concrete details honor the person far more than broad praise.

3. Including Controversial or Private Information

An obituary is not the place to air grievances, reveal family secrets, or settle scores. If there's disagreement within the family about what to include, err on the side of discretion. The obituary is a public document that will exist indefinitely.

4. Forgetting Practical Details

If you mention a service but forget to include the time, date, or location, people who want to attend won't be able to. Double-check every logistical detail before publishing.

5. Writing Only About Accomplishments

A list of degrees, job titles, and awards can feel cold. Balance professional achievements with personal qualities, relationships, and the small things that made someone who they were. The person behind the resume is what people want to remember.

6. Waiting Too Long to Start

Obituaries are often needed within a day or two of someone's passing. Don't wait until the last minute. If you know a death is approaching, it's not disrespectful to begin gathering information and drafting early. It's practical and compassionate — it gives you more time to write something thoughtful during an incredibly difficult period.

Where to Publish an Obituary

Newspapers

The traditional choice. Most local and regional newspapers accept obituaries, though many charge per line or per word. Call the paper's obituary desk for pricing and submission guidelines. Some papers also publish obituaries on their websites.

Online Obituary Sites

Websites like Legacy.com and other memorial platforms allow you to publish obituaries for free or for a modest fee. Online obituaries have the advantage of being shareable, searchable, and not limited by word count.

Funeral Home Websites

Most funeral homes publish obituaries on their websites as part of their services. This is often included in the overall arrangement cost.

Memorial Pages

Creating a dedicated online memorial page is an increasingly popular option. Unlike a static obituary listing, a memorial page can include photos, videos, a timeline of the person's life, and a guestbook where friends and family can share their own memories. Platforms like RestInLight allow families to build lasting digital memorials that go far beyond what a traditional obituary can offer.

Social Media

Many people share obituaries or personal tributes on Facebook, Instagram, or other platforms. This is a quick way to reach a wide network, though it's best used in addition to — not instead of — a more permanent publication.

Church or Community Bulletins

If the deceased was active in a religious community or organization, ask about publishing a notice in their bulletin or newsletter.

Final Thoughts

Writing an obituary is one of the most meaningful things you can do for someone who has passed. It's a chance to tell their story one more time — to say, publicly, that this person mattered, that their life had weight and warmth and consequence.

Don't aim for perfection. Aim for honesty. The best obituaries aren't the most eloquent ones — they're the ones that make you feel like you knew the person, even if you never met them.

Take your time with the details, let the person's personality shine through, and don't be afraid to ask for help. Whether you lean on family, friends, or writing tools, the goal is the same: to honor a life well lived.

Ready to create a lasting tribute? Start for free →